l am that starling bird and I have always teetered back and onward between loneliness and relatedness .. as a Sudanese kid I would run away from the beatings , from the abjured words and always l knew that if I could run far enough then any worm , any another bird , any leaf , any tree and any insect could bring me to my true home.
I knew my real truth and l had discovered that I did not belong among people and whatever they hated me or hated something about me .. it was just a human thing.
The nonhuman world has always loved me .. yes l can't negate that I am not able to remember when it was otherwise .. but I have been been emotionally catatonic by this.
Fundamentally for me there is nothing romantic about being beloved and hated or about being young and angry or even about turning that anger , hate and love into art because I go through the counteractive movements of living in society and l never feel that l am a part of it .
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